Everyone has their vices.
They can go by many names and take many different forms but, when all is said and done, they’re the things in our lives that we can’t let go of, or that we have trouble keeping under control. I’m not talking about “guilty pleasures” that people talk about having, like a secret obsession with some sitcom that no one in a million years would guess that you’d like. I’m talking about actual habits or behaviors that, if left unchallenged, can actually be detrimental to your life and the lives surrounding you on a daily basis.
The alcoholic thinks that just one more drink will take the edge off, and that he’ll find peace at the bottom of the next bottle. The serial cheater tells himself that this time is truly the last time as he drives to the hotel for his late night meeting, while his wife and kids sleep at home. Perhaps your vices aren’t as extreme as an extra-marital affair, or an addiction to alcohol, though both are painfully common in our culture, but I’d wager that if you were to take some time for introspection that’d you’d likely find at least one habit or behavior that is inherently destructive to you, or those you love. It doesn’t even have to be a purely bad quality! It could be a good quality that you have a propensity to take to excess…
Recently, I canceled two weeks worth of streams for the podcast and announced to my friends on Twitter and Facebook that I would be taking the rest of July off to refocus on family. The podcast itself has been enjoying a fair amount of success and I’ve had a tremendous amount of interest from all kinds of people in being a part of what we’re creating. I had some fantastic guests lined up for July, and I hope to reconnect with them once I’ve discovered equilibrium again. I tell you all these things, not to brag about my pet project, but to share with you why a step back is necessary.
The simple truth is this… I have workaholic tendencies. It’s never flattering to admit your weakness, but it’s the truth, and it’s as much a part of me as the air I breathe. Not long ago, a counselor told me that I have a mild case of OCPD, which is essentially a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It’s actually fairly common in men, and often manifests in a preoccupation with work, or a need for perfectionism. This actually plays right into my personality type, as denoted by Myers-Briggs, as an “Architect”. The truth is I love to build things. Not physical things, mind you, because I’m not super handy, but I love to build ideas, concepts, brands, etc. I love creating things which are my very own, and I’m very particular how those things are built. After the foundations have been established, I usually encounter some modicum of success as others coalesce around the idea/brand, and want to be a part of things.
Success is as intoxicating to me as alcohol is to the alcoholic. I constantly want more. I start seizing opportunities left and right. If I had my way, my schedule would be solid with appointments, streams, networking meetings inked in every blank space. That’s my tendency. It’s my vice. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with working hard, however, when work becomes your god there are always casualties.
As successful as I could potentially be, no amount of success would be worthwhile if the casualties included my wife and children. The families are always the first victims of a workaholic’s frenzied obsession. It begins with a “few extra things” here and there, and a spouse who’s looking to be supportive of your vision, to ignoring your children at breakfast to keep up with Twitter contacts, scheduling multiple streams a night and not spending time with your wife, and constantly being attached to a screen. I am incredibly blessed to have a wife who won’t just passively indulge my vices, but instead will put her foot down for the good of everyone in the family.
My drive to be successful is born out of a desire to give my family everything in the world, but if they lose their father in the process would it be worth it?
Talking to my girls, seeing their faces light up when you engage them in, what to you may seem superfluous play, but to them is the most serious business in the world, suggests otherwise. I caution my friends in the political sphere constantly, admonishing them not to become that which they hate most, but that advice is universal in application. I don’t work to be free of the daily grind, simply to become chained to another grind. I need to always refocus on what matters most in life, because this life is all my wife and I have, and my children are only going to be young once.
At the end of the day, no amount of success can outweigh the value of family, and I’m grateful that my wife reminds me of that when I’m immersed in my own little world.
So where do we go from here?
The podcast will be restructured to include four live streams a month, one a week. I may do extra appearances on my friends’ shows, or there might be an extra show for the longer months, but four shows a month is more than enough for a dad who works full time, takes care of two wonderful children, and still finds time to spend with his wife!
My co-host, Bryce, is also looking to create his very own segment on the YouTube channel to allow him some freedom to bring on his own guests!
If my situation changes, and the podcast gains more reach, or begins actually bringing in income, I can readjust the content schedule accordingly.
It’s my desire to create, not just content for content’s sake, but actual quality interviews and discussions out of respect for your time! I won’t be a slave to algorithms.
I want to thank you all for your support, and your understanding as we move into the next phase of The Resistance Podcast!
Remember to appreciate the ones who are right in front of you, no amount of subscribers or clicks on some digital platform will ever replace the memories you share with people in the non-virtual world!